Can I Show Compassion While I’m Grieving?

Let me get straight to the point—YES.

I know, I know. It sounds impossible, even unfair. How can I possibly extend compassion to someone else when I’m the one grieving? Shouldn’t I be curled up in bed, drowning in my own sorrow, waiting for someone to take care of me? Well… maybe. And trust me, there were (and still are) days like that.

But here’s the thing: grief doesn’t make me incapable of compassion—it makes me more aware of how much it’s needed.

If you’re subscribed to my blog or part of The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc., then my friend, you are literally witnessing compassion in motion—a woman who, despite her own heartbreak, chooses to pour into others who are hurting too.

So, How Do I Do It?

First, let me be clear—this is not what you’ll hear in therapy. I am NOT a therapist. I don’t write from a clinical perspective. I write from the raw, unfiltered experience of living through mother loss.

And here’s what I know to be true: compassion is a choice.

Do I have moments where my grief sits on my chest like a brick? Absolutely.
Do I have days where I just don’t have it in me to show up for others? Of course.

But let’s be real—if grief completely consumed us, we wouldn’t be able to get out of bed, go to work, cook, grab a movie with friends, or even get our nails done. Somewhere in between the pain, we still function.

And it was in those small moments of functioning that I realized something:
👉🏾 I could sit in my grief OR I could channel it into something bigger than me.

The more I read, researched, and connected with others about their pain, the more I began to heal myself. Helping became healing.

I didn’t set out to "fix" anyone. But I knew that if I was going to survive this loss, I had to look outward instead of keeping the spotlight on my own heartbreak 24/7.

And let me be clear—this isn’t for everyone. If you don’t feel ready to extend compassion to others, don’t force it. But if somewhere inside you, you feel like helping someone else might also help you, trust that instinct.

Reflection Questions:

1️⃣ Have you found ways to channel your grief into something meaningful?
2️⃣ What small moments of joy or connection remind you that you’re still capable of giving?
3️⃣ If your mother were here, how would she want you to share your heart with others?

Grief is heavy, but we don’t have to carry it alone.

At The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc., we provide free resources for women grieving the loss of their mothers, because we know firsthand that loss is life-changing—but it doesn’t mean you stop living.

Kinyatta Gray writes about grief—not as a therapist, but as someone who is living it, breathing it, and learning to grow through it. If you see yourself in my words, then maybe, just maybe, we’re on this healing journey together.