My Heart Bleeds for Those Who Will One Day Face The Unimaginable Heartbreak of Losing Their Mothers, Too...

Losing a mother is an indescribable, life-altering, earth-shattering pain that cuts deep into the core of one's being. For an only child like myself, the loss becomes even more profound as I mourn not only the absence of a mother but also the absence of a lifelong companion, my bestie, my biggest supporter, and my confidante.

In this blog, I want to share my personal journey of navigating the soul-crushing pain of losing my mother and the profound loneliness that accompanies it. However, through the darkness, I discovered resilience by throwing myself into honoring my mother and also deep empathy for women who have not yet faced this unimaginable loss.

The Bond of a Mother and Only Child:

The bond between a mother and an only child is unique and unparalleled. As the sole recipient of my mom's love and attention, I cherished the moments we shared, the secrets we whispered, and her unwavering support. Losing my mother meant losing not only a parent but also a best friend, leaving an emptiness that seemed impossible to fill. I didn't realize that I didn't have other close friends because my relationship with my mother was all-encompassing. I didn't know how little support existed in my life until after I lost my mom, and I no longer had her unwavering, consistent, vocal, and physical support. If you're blessed to have a loving, nurturing, God-fearing mother like me, you will instantly recognize that no one left in your life will ever fill the void of the love, tenderness, and support your mother so freely showered you with.

Kinyatta E. Gray and her Mother, the late, Beverly E. Carroll

The Loneliness of Losing a Mother:

The loneliness that follows the loss of a mother is unlike any other. The world suddenly feels unfamiliar, as if I am floating through life without an anchor. The absence of her presence is a constant reminder of the void in my heart, and the grief can be overwhelming. During these moments of solitude, I yearn for her comforting embrace, her words of wisdom, and the warmth of her unconditional love. Fortunately, I have spent more time on earth with my mother than I will ever live on this earth without her. My mother prided herself on teaching me everything I know about womanhood, people, being authentic, loving God, loving family, diligence, wisdom, health, building connections with others, writing, and living life honorably. She equipped me with the skills necessary to live without her, so I honor her.

Honoring My Mother's Legacy:

During grief, I have found comfort and strength in honoring my mother's legacy. I channeled my pain into creating a tribute to her life, celebrating her accomplishments, and preserving her memory. Through acts of kindness, volunteer work, or creative endeavors, I discovered that by keeping her spirit alive, I could find comfort and purpose in sorrow.

The Irony of Empathy:

As I journey through my own grief, I developed a profound empathy for women who still have their mothers by their side. It may seem ironic, but my heart bleeds for them, knowing the unimaginable pain that lies ahead when they eventually face the loss of their mothers. This empathy drives me to support and console those who have not yet experienced this profound loss, reminding them to cherish every moment and express their love while they still have the chance.

Losing a mother as an only child is an indescribable, heart-wrenching experience that brings about a unique sense of loss and loneliness. However, through resilience, the support of my spouse and children, and honoring my mom's legacy, I have found strength during pain.

My journey has also given me a deep empathy for those who have not yet experienced this unimaginable loss. Let us all hold our loved ones a little tighter, express our love a little louder, and embrace the fragility of life with a renewed sense of gratitude.

Kinyatta E. Gray founded The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc, Flights In Stilettos and InHer Bliss Life Coaching. Gray is also an award-winning entrepreneur and won the prestigious title of Nexstar Media Group's Remarkable Woman of the Year in 2023 in Washington, DC.