They Don't Want To Speed Up Your Grief... They Don't Want to be Inconvenienced by It

In My Opinion…

They Don't Want To Speed Up Your Grief…They Don't Want to be Inconvenienced by It 

Grief is a deeply personal and often misunderstood experience. It's a journey we must navigate on our own and in our own time. However, it's not uncommon to encounter people who, while they may not explicitly say it, seem to wish that we would hurry up and "get over" our grief. They may not care how long we grieve, but they certainly don't want our grief to impact them. 

This lack of understanding and empathy can be incredibly hurtful and isolating for those who are grieving. It can make the journey through grief even more challenging and lonely. 

Grief is not a linear process with a clear beginning, middle, and end. It's not something that can be neatly packaged into a set timeline. It's a complex, messy, and often unpredictable journey that can ebb and flow over time. 

People who haven't experienced profound loss may struggle to understand this. They may see grief as a problem to be solved, a condition to be cured, or an inconvenience to be avoided. They may feel uncomfortable with the intensity of our emotions, or they may not know how to support us in our grief.

This lack of understanding can lead to a sense of isolation for grieving people. It can feel like we're alone in our pain, misunderstood and unsupported. It can also lead to guilt or shame, as we may start to feel as though there's something wrong with us for not "moving on" as quickly as others expect.

However, it's important to remember that there's no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve. Each person's grief journey is unique and should be respected as such. It's okay to grieve in your own way and in your own time. It's okay to feel your feelings, no matter how intense or uncomfortable they may be.

If you're struggling with feelings of isolation or misunderstanding in your grief, seeking support from those who understand can be helpful. This could be a grief support group, like The Grief Club, a grief coach, a mental health provider, or a trusted friend or family member who has experienced a similar loss. 

Remember, it's okay to set boundaries with those who don't understand or respect your grief. It's okay to take care of yourself and to prioritize your healing. Your grief is valid, and you deserve to be supported in your journey.

In conclusion, grief is a deeply personal journey that can be misunderstood by those who haven't experienced it. While it can be challenging to navigate the expectations and misunderstandings of others, it's important to remember that your grief is valid and that you deserve support, patience, and understanding. 

Last, how did you show up for those in grief? 

Be sure to demonstrate the level of support for those grieving that you wish for yourself.

Kinyatta E. Gray founded The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc., a non-profit organization that helps women understand grief and how to cope with grief through tools such as journaling. Gray is also a certified life coach and the founder of InHer Bliss Life Coaching, which offers grief support and coaching for women.