Girl, That's Not Networking, You Just Formed a Clique...
Girl, That's Not Networking, You Just Formed a Clique
Let’s be honest: in today’s world, the line between building a network and forming a clique can get pretty fuzzy. We’ve all been there—attending those “empowerment” brunches that sometimes feel more like a popularity contest than a genuine opportunity to connect. That’s why I’m often hesitant about women’s empowerment events; I can’t help but wonder if the goal is to create a supportive network truly or to form another exclusive club. The distinction matters, and here’s why.
Before we dive too deep, let’s talk about why cliques form in the first place. Sometimes, they’re born out of insecurity—a way for people to create a safe space where they feel accepted and validated. Other times, it’s about control—keeping the circle tight to maintain a sense of power or influence. And let’s not forget, that cliques can also be influenced by culture, with boundaries established by differences in language, beliefs, and traditions.
It’s understandable why cliques form—they offer a quick fix for feelings of belonging and security. But here’s the thing: while they might feel comfortable, cliques can end up being a pretty small box to live in. It’s like staying in the shallow end of the pool because it’s safe, but missing out on the deeper, richer experiences that come from diving into the unknown. So, while cliques might offer a sense of familiarity, it’s important to recognize when it’s time to break out and build something bigger and better—a true network that embraces diversity and fosters real growth and collaboration.
The Real Difference: Clique vs. Network
On the surface, cliques and networks might seem similar—they’re both groups of people with shared interests. But let’s not get it twisted. Cliques thrive on exclusivity and sameness, like that group in high school that all wore matching jackets and had their own secret handshake. Networks, on the other hand, are the real deal: inclusive, diverse, and welcoming of different perspectives. Where cliques rely on dependence and groupthink, networks encourage interdependence, collaboration, and personal growth—no secret handshakes required.
Why This Distinction Matters
Understanding the difference is crucial because it impacts how we interact with others and shape our personal and professional lives. Sure, cliques can offer a cozy sense of belonging, but they can also stifle growth and innovation—like trying to grow a plant in a shoebox. Networks, on the other hand, are like wide-open fields, full of opportunities to bloom, foster creativity, and build resilience. That’s why it’s so important to be intentional about how we build our connections. Let’s make sure we’re planting ourselves in fertile ground, not boxed in with limited sunlight.
How to Build a True Network, Not a Clique
We each have the power to empower ourselves and others by doing these five things:
Embrace Diversity: Don’t be afraid to mix it up! Seek out people with different backgrounds and perspectives. Diversity is like a spice rack—it makes everything more flavorful.
Promote Open Communication: Let’s keep it real and make sure everyone’s voice is heard. Open dialogue prevents echo chambers and encourages fresh, new ideas.
Focus on Shared Goals: Unite around common objectives, but allow space for individual contributions that reflect each person’s strengths—because nobody likes a copycat.
Encourage Independence and Collaboration: Balance personal ambitions with collective success. It’s like a potluck—everyone brings something unique to the table, and together, we feast!
Be Mindful of Power Dynamics: Keep the playing field level. Respect contributions based on merit, not hierarchy. Remember, the best ideas can come from anywhere—yes, even the intern!
As we navigate our personal and professional lives, let’s be mindful of whether we’re building cliques or nurturing networks. One isolates and limits potential; the other opens doors and fosters real growth. Ask yourself: Are you part of a clique, or are you building a network that empowers everyone involved?
“Real empowerment comes not from joining exclusive circles but from creating inclusive spaces where everyone’s voice matters.”
So, next time you’re at an “empowerment” brunch, don’t just reach for the mimosas—reach for meaningful connections. Let’s build a community where everyone gets a seat at the table, even if they don’t have the secret handshake.
Kinyatta E. Gray is a Certified Master Coach, Grief Educator, Author, and Founder of The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc. Gray writes about grief and loss for women grieving the loss of their mothers. The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc. exists to honor the memory of the late Beverly E. Carroll, Kinyatta's Mother.
