Shifting the Focus: From Pain to Honoring a Loved One's Legacy on Social Media
Shifting the Focus: From Pain to Honoring a Loved One's Legacy on Social Media
Introduction:
In the digital age, social media has become a powerful tool for self-expression and sharing personal experiences. Some people use these platforms to write about heartbreak, pain, grief, wins, losses, and accomplishments.
I want to talk about those who use social media to share their pain and agony when grieving.
Most people are seeking solace and understanding on social media. However, most of your social media followers cannot meet your needs.
It never seemed fitting that on social media, you could express deep pain in your post, and in the next minute, your followers could scroll right by your painful post to the next one that does more for them in terms of pleasure and entertainment. People don't want to be sad on social media. No one logs on to social media and thinks, let me read all the obituaries today. When sharing about your pain, grief, and loss on social media, you're seeking comfort and compassion, not just attention.
Everything changed when I realized the importance of honoring my loved one's legacy instead of broadcasting my pain to people who will as soon scroll by it.
This blog explores the journey of shifting my focus from writing about my pain to celebrating the life and impact of someone very dear to me on social media.
The Power of Writing:
Writing has always been a therapeutic outlet, allowing me to process emotions and make sense of the world. When I experienced loss and pain, I began writing to cope. Sharing my struggles on social media provided a sense of short-term validation and questionable support from friends and strangers alike. But as time passed, I began to question the impact of dwelling solely on my grief on social media.
Discovering the Legacy:
One day, I stumbled upon a journal filled with memories, photographs, and inspiring stories of my loved one. It hit me: their life was so much more than the pain I had been fixating on. Their legacy deserves celebration. I realized that shifting the focus from my pain on social media to honoring their memory could bring about healing for me and others.
Sharing the Legacy:
Social media platforms offer a vast reach, allowing us to share stories and memories with people who may have never had the chance to know our loved ones. By shifting my focus, I started sharing heartfelt anecdotes, fond memories, and inspiring lessons my loved one had imparted. This change allowed me to embrace their legacy positively while connecting with others who could relate to the impact my loved one had on their lives.
Building a Community:
As I began sharing stories of my loved one's accomplishments, kindness, and wisdom, I noticed a remarkable shift in the responses I received. People started engaging more, sharing their memories and experiences, and offering support and encouragement. This was evidenced by the outpouring of support on National Grief Awareness Day during our event, The 1st Annual Day of Reflection and Remembrance hosted by The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc.
By honoring my loved one's legacy, I unintentionally created a community of like-minded individuals who found solace, inspiration, and healing through these shared stories.
Finding Healing and Meaning:
Shifting my focus from personal pain to honoring my loved one's legacy transformed my social media experience. Instead of dwelling on sadness, I found solace in cherishing their memory and carrying forward their values. This shift allowed me to heal and gave me a renewed sense of purpose. It became evident that the power of social media could extend beyond personal struggles, allowing us to create a meaningful impact by honoring the lives of those we've lost.
Connecting with a Community of Those in Grief:
In 2023, The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc. launched The Grief Club, a private Facebook group for members who have lost loved ones and want to connect with others for support, interaction, engagement, learning opportunities, and social activities. Directing my energy to people who share similar experiences to me lessens the chances of not receiving the sense of community, comfort, and compassion that we often need when in grief while in a social media setting.
Conclusion:
In a world where social media often amplifies negativity, it is essential to recognize its power to inspire and heal. By shifting my focus from writing about my pain to honoring my loved one's legacy, I discovered a new path to healing and purpose. Embracing their memory on social media allowed me to heal and create a community of support and inspiration for others. Through our stories, we can celebrate the lives of our loved ones, keeping their legacies alive while providing hope and solace to those who need it.
Kinyatta E. Gray is a published author and award-winning entrepreneur, a grief awareness and grief “out loud” advocate, and the founder of the nonprofit organization The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc in honor of her mother, the late Beverly E. Carroll.
