When Mother’s Day Hurts for Other Reasons: Holding Space for Complicated Mother-Child Relationships

Mother’s Day comes with so many expectations — brunch reservations, flowers, matching outfits, sentimental posts about "the best mom ever."

But what happens when Mother’s Day doesn’t feel like that for you?

What happens when the mention of Mother’s Day stirs up emotions you can’t easily explain? Sadness. Anger. Resentment. Guilt. Loneliness.

Not because your mother is gone — but because your mother was never really there the way you needed her to be.

At The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc., we are holding space for you — the people who have complicated, layered, and often painful relationships with their mothers.

This is not about judgment. This is not about bashing mothers who didn’t or couldn’t rise to the occasion of motherhood.

This is about honoring the children — the adults — who were left to figure out how to love themselves after growing up without the kind of mothering they deserved.

Kinyatta’s Truth

As the founder of The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc., I (Kinyatta) understand this in a very real and personal way.

Every Father’s Day is complicated for me.

I’m always in awe of people — especially women — who post tributes to their dads, who grew up loved, supported, and protected by a father who never abandoned them.

That wasn’t my story.

And I know for many of you… that’s how Mother’s Day feels.

Maybe your mother was absent emotionally. Maybe she was physically harmful. Maybe she simply didn’t have the capacity to nurture you in the way your heart needed.

It leaves a scar — one that can throb a little louder this time of year.

So if you find yourself both wanting to honor your mother… and resenting the pain she caused — know this:
You are not alone.
Your feelings are valid.
Your story matters.

5 Unexpected Ways to Navigate Mother’s Day When Your Relationship Was Complicated

These aren’t your typical “self-care” suggestions — these are real, gentle ways to show up for yourself in a season that can feel especially hard:

1. Create a Ritual of Release

Write your mother a letter — say everything you need to say. Then safely burn it, shred it, or release it in some way. It's not about anger — it's about release.

2. Mother Yourself

Do something nurturing for you — the kind of love you wished you received. Buy yourself flowers. Cook your favorite meal. Rest without guilt. Be the mother you needed.

3. Honor a Mother Figure Who Stepped Up

It could be an aunt, a mentor, a neighbor, or a friend’s mom. If someone mothered you when your own couldn’t — send them love or gratitude.

4. Create Boundaries Around Social Media

Mute the posts if you need to. Log off if you need to. Protect your peace unapologetically.

5. Support Someone Else Who Might Be Struggling

Sometimes the greatest healing comes from extending compassion to others walking a similar road. Reach out. Send a text. Share resources like our BeeLoved Box program.

You Are Not Alone — And You Are Not Broken

At The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc., we know grief comes in many forms. It’s not always about death — sometimes it’s about the loss of what could have been, what should have been, and what never was.

And while I am not a mental health professional, I share my experiences to create community, connection, and a safe space for people who feel isolated in their emotions.

This is real life. This is heart work.

Our Programs & Services

We offer programs designed to bring comfort and connection to those navigating loss and grief:

💛 BeeLoved Gift Box Program — A complimentary care package for women who have lost their mothers.

💛 Her Final Bow — A program to support families honoring their mothers at end-of-life or after loss.

💛 Community Outreach Events — Including our upcoming Say Her Name event and our first-ever Poetry Fundraiser for National Grief Awareness Day.

We see you. We honor you. We are walking alongside you.

So if Mother’s Day feels heavy this year — please know there is no right or wrong way to feel. There is only your way. And whatever that looks like, you are worthy of love, compassion, and peace.

You are seen here. You are held here.

With all my heart,
Kinyatta Gray
Founder, The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc.