(When Your Mother is Gone… But You’re Still a Mother to Be Celebrated)

Let’s talk about that question — you know the one.

“So, what are you doing for Mother’s Day?”

Simple question on the surface... but when your mother is no longer here, that question can feel loaded.

Because while I’m blessed to still be called Mom by my children, I’m also a daughter navigating this world without my mother’s physical presence.

That’s a hard space to sit in sometimes.

But let me tell you how life — and love — has taught me to handle it.

Inspired by Sisterhood & Real Conversations

Recently, I was inspired by one of our very own board members at The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc., my dear friend Robbin.

She shared a beautiful video talking about how she approaches Mother’s Day from two powerful places:
→ Honoring her heavenly mother.
→ Honoring herself as a mother still here, still worthy of celebration.

It really resonated with me because that’s exactly the space I’ve learned to create for myself.

How I Navigate Mother’s Day

Over the years, I’ve developed a little tradition.

I intentionally honor my heavenly mother the weekend before Mother’s Day. That’s my time — no distractions, no expectations — just me and my memories of my mom.

I give myself space to feel whatever emotions show up — joy, sadness, laughter, tears. It’s all welcome.

Then, when Mother’s Day arrives, I allow my family to celebrate me however they choose. I don’t shrink from it. I don’t feel guilty.

And let me be honest — I used to struggle with that.

I used to feel like if I let my kids celebrate me, I was somehow “cheating” on my mother’s memory. But I know my mom — Miss Bee — and she would have never wanted that.

She would’ve wanted me to soak up every hug, every card, every gift, every laugh from my children — just like I used to do for her.

Honoring My Mom Through Purpose

This year marks the second year that The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc. will participate in the Anne Arundel County Mental Health Fair on the weekend of Mother’s Day.

And honestly? I can’t think of a better way to honor my mom.

This is outreach. This is community love. This is mental health advocacy — all things that were close to my mother’s heart.

And the part that really warms my spirit? My adult children volunteer with me at the fair.

Full circle moment.

It’s funny how life works like that — aligning purpose with love, passion with legacy.

It keeps me connected to my mom in a way that feels authentic and deeply fulfilling.

5 Tips for Navigating Mother’s Day When You’re Grieving & Being Celebrated

Honor Your Mother in Advance
Set aside a special day or moment before Mother’s Day to reflect, remember, and honor your mother in whatever way feels good for you.
Let Your Family Celebrate You
You deserve to be celebrated. Receive the love from your family — it doesn’t lessen your love for your mother.
Create a Tradition That Blends Both
Combine remembrance and celebration — light a candle for your mom while enjoying brunch with your kids.
Communicate Your Feelings
Let people know where your heart is — they’ll likely meet you with grace and understanding.
Do Something in Your Mother’s Honor
Volunteer, donate, participate in something that would make her smile. Keep her spirit alive through action.

3 Ways I Personally Honor My Mother’s Heavenly Presence

Quiet Reflection Time — A solo moment with a cup of tea (or a little bubbly), my journal, and thoughts of my mother.
Community Outreach — Participating in events like the Anne Arundel County Mental Health Fair in her honor.
Wearing Something of Hers — A piece of jewelry, her favorite color, or something that makes me feel wrapped in her love.

At the end of the day, there’s no right or wrong way to handle Mother’s Day after loss.

You get to honor your grief.
You get to honor your joy.
You get to honor your mother.
You get to honor you.

All that matters is that you keep moving forward — learning, growing, and creating space for love in all its forms.

So when someone asks “What are you doing for Mother’s Day?”

My answer is simple:

“I’m honoring her. I’m honoring me. I’m doing it my way.”

With love, legacy, and a little bit of laughter —

Kinyatta Gray

Founder, The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc.

When People Ask: “What Are You Doing for Mother’s Day?”

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