Not All Grief Support Is the Same—And That’s Okay
When I first lost my mom, I went on a desperate quest to find grief support that resonated with me. I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for, but I knew one thing for sure: I didn’t want someone diagnosing my grief like it was a medical condition. I didn’t need the DSM-IV or a prescription to process the pain of losing the single most important person in my life. I needed understanding, tools for navigating forward, and permission to grieve in a way that felt true to me.
I tried reading books and attending groups. Some of it was helpful—until it wasn’t. Some methods and teachings left me feeling like my ongoing longing for my mom was “abnormal,” like my deep connection to her memory was something that needed to be severed, not celebrated. I encountered suggestions that I medicate my grief out of existence, as though numbing my feelings would magically make them disappear. That approach didn’t resonate with me. It made me feel like I was broken and needed fixing. But grief isn’t something you “fix.” It’s something you learn to live with, carry, and integrate.
There was, however, one book—and I’m not going to keep name-dropping it because the author isn’t cutting me any checks—but it helped me immensely. This book normalized what I was feeling. It reminded me that longing for my mom wasn’t a sign that something was “wrong” with me—it was a sign that I deeply loved her. It offered tools, not to “get over” my grief, but to walk alongside it and carry it with grace. This approach, rooted in compassion and authenticity, gave me hope and allowed me to find my footing again. If you’re curious about the book and want to learn more, I would be more than happy to discuss it with you directly. It helped me experience such a profound shift, and I want everyone who is open to it to have that same chance. Feel free to reach out to me, because your healing matters to me.
Here’s what I learned through that experience: not all grief support is the same. And you need to find what works for you. Some approaches may feel too clinical, others too vague. Some might feel like they’re forcing you to move faster than you’re ready, while others might not challenge you enough. Grief support is deeply personal. You’re not wrong for feeling that a particular method doesn’t work for you—it just means your path is unique, and that’s okay.
Finding the Right Support for You
Our programs and tools at The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc. are designed specifically for women who have lost their moms two or more years ago and are seeking ongoing support. These resources are for women who may already be working with a grief coach or another professional and are now looking for compassionate, practical ways to navigate forward. Our focus is on meeting you where you are, providing tools and guidance that help you honor your grief while stepping into a life that reflects resilience and healing.
So, how do you find the grief support that feels right? Ask yourself these questions:
Does this approach make me feel connected and understood?
Does it honor my feelings and allow space for my memories?
Does it provide tools or insights that genuinely help me move forward, in my own time and way?
At The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc., we focus on resources and programs that meet grievers where they are. We offer tools like grief journals, workshops, and peer connections to help you process your grief in ways that feel authentic and empowering. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but there is a path that’s right for you.
Finding Your Path
Your journey through grief is uniquely yours, and there’s no “wrong” way to navigate it. Take the time to explore different books, groups, and teachings. Reflect on what feels healing, nurturing, and authentic to your experience. Above all, trust yourself. You are not broken. You are grieving—and that is human, normal, and worthy of compassion.
You don’t have to figure it all out at once. And you’re not alone. The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc. is here for you with resources, guidance, and community to help you find your way forward.
Visit us at www.honoringmissbee.org for programs, tools, and support specifically for women navigating life after the loss of their mothers.
Let your path honor your loss, your loved one, and your resilience. You’ve got this.
About Kinyatta E. Gray
Kinyatta E. Gray is an author, entrepreneur, and founder of The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc., a nonprofit that provides compassionate support to women who have lost their mothers. Since her mother’s passing, Kinyatta has turned her grief into a driving force, building a legacy that speaks to resilience, purpose, and healing. She has published several books, launched a successful nonprofit, and created programs that help others navigate the path of loss.
